Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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