so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
