I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
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So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
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So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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