Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
