The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
