yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
