Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
