my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
