im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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