worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
