I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
