I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
