Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
