Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
