Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
