if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
