great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
