so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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