You're my little dorito
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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