He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
