im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Pants are for mortals
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