We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
