I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
