I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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