I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
