I will die if light touches me.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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