State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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