I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize