bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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