Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
