I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
