remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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