can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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