So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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