oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
