i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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