I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The adults are the big ones right?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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