Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
