...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
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The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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