This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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