Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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