i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
