nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize