i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
