He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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