he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
