haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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