Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
