He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
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I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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