I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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