I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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