the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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