You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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