So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
