Nicole vs. Life
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
