"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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