my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
