respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
