Just fell off a train. Bad.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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