Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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